I can't explain what a rush it is to get my writing out there. I am pumped about it.
I especially love ALL of the dozens of reactions that I've gotten so far. Everything from mom's thanking me because they feel the same way, to fathers giving me a sheepish look and a smug, "well, if I could take the summer off, I would be Super Dad too, you know", to other guys saying "oh, well, isn't your husband the shit", to women crying and saying, how lucky I am. Also, the many, many friends, family and supporters I have who are just happy for me to reach a goal. I LOVE THE LOVE!
I. Am. Proud. And grateful - for Kate, Lisa, Alex, Today's Parent...and of course, Steve (with a side of Duncan and Griffin).
Ssy
In case it gets lost on the interwebz again...here's the copy.
My husband might be a better mom than me by Stephanie Rebot Tarling
At the risk of sounding completely and utterly inadequate, I – um – have a confession to make: I think my husband might be a better mom than me. There. I said it. Now allow me to explain.
About a year and a half ago, my husband Steve's workplace was sold and he lost his job. Since his last day at work was in early June (and he’d received a package so he wouldn't have to find another gig immediately), he decided it would be a great opportunity to take our two boys out of daycare and spend the summer with them before our oldest began JK that fall.
After singlehandedly arranging new daycare (which would start on the first day of school) and lining up a new job (conveniently starting the day after – talk about planning) he designed (again, singlehandedly) an amazing summer with the boys. He signed them up for Sportball and T-ball. He scheduled weekly visits with my out-of-town family so the boys could see their grandparents and cousins. He even took them to his parents' cottage for days at a time and arranged for me to join everyone at the end of the workweek.
SuperDad had everything under control. And I kind of loved it…until I realized he was really good at it. Like, better-than-me-on-maternity-leave good. Like, my-kids-might-start-calling-him-mom good. And so my secret rivalry began.
I tried to push that nagging “my husband's a better mom than me” feeling down deep, but with every giggle-packed phone call the boys made from the playground, or captured photo they sent from their daily adventure, the question persisted. Could my husband seriously be a better mom than me?
The more I thought about it, the more it drove me nuts. Yeah, I was secure in the contributions I was making to our family, but I was starting to feel a bit unimportant around the old homestead. All of a sudden a bigger question emerged: Am I a great mom who just feels inadequate as a mom? Aha!
After I had this breakthrough, I realized that instead of letting it get to me, I needed to focus on my many shining mommy moments: I am the reader of bedtime stories, the partner of homework assignments, the baker of fabulous birthday cakes and the best hugger in the house. Am I still jealous of my husband's awesomeness? Sometimes. But more importantly, I'm proud to have married the man that I did. You never know what kind of father-to-your-children you're going to end up with until you watch them all grow together. I'd say that I won the lottery.
So here’s what I’ve learned in all this. Is my husband really a better mom than me? No way. Parenting isn't a competition, it's a partnership. I am the best mom for my boys and my husband is definitely the best dad for them – hands down. Sure, neither one of us is perfect, but right now our boys think we are. And that in itself is pretty awesome – for me and SuperDad.
