So I go to Legs Beautiful in First Canadian Place yesterday, to buy a little something to smooth my stomach (yes, I sometimes need smoothing, shutup).
I already have the Spanx Power Panty from 5 years ago, but I was wearing an above the knee dress and I didn't want the shorts part to show. So I walked to a display table of unpackaged super-suckers and honed in on two different kinds of exactly what I wanted - and they both happened to be Spanx. I asked the salesperson what the difference was between the two and she quickly nudged me toward the one with better stomach support (as opposed to the better butt-support style). It was the Spanx Simplicity High Waist Panty in nude.
"Great", I said, "where can I try it on"?
She said, "Oh, you're not allowed to try it on. Store policy".
I said, "But they're $90. Do you know how many times I’ve bought packaged pantyhose that promised not to "roll down" but then totally rolled down by the 2nd minute of sitting? I'm not falling for that again, especially not for $90".
"Sorry Ma'am (P.S. I HATE being called Ma'am but that's another post), it's store policy that you can't try this pair on".
"But I will leave my underwear on, obviously".
"Nope, sorry".
"But people are allowed to try on BATHING SUITS, for crying out loud".
"Yes, but bathing suits have that little plastic sticker on the inside".
Exasperated at the ridiculousness of her comment, I rolled my eyes and countered, "Then give me a plastic bag or some tape and I'll put it in the crotch area".
"You can't do that. And anyway, the integrity of the product will be stretched out if you try it on".
"Really? So what you're telling me is that I should spend $90 on a product that may or may not suit my needs, but that the products' integrity will immediately be rendered imperfect if you let me TRY IT ON ONCE. I’m pretty sure the brand would not be as successful as they are if they lost their integrity with one try-on".
"Sorry Ma'am <cringe>, it's store policy".
"So, what else do you have then, that isn't $90 and that will help me out"?
"Well, we have this $30 kind but it's not Spanx".
"Great," I said, "can I try them on"?
"Yes you can, we have a sample in a medium if you'd like".
"Seriously? You have demos of THIS brand, but you won't buy a sample from Spanx, THE most POPULAR super-sucker brand known to womankind"?
As if I was a complete idiot, she cocks her hip, tisks her tongue and says, "Well if we did that, what size would we use"?
"Um, how about medium, since there's 10 large, 11 small, and only one medium left on your display? It's obviously your most popular size".
"Well, we just don't do that".
"But you DO! For this other brand! Oh. My. God. Goodbye".
"Sorry Ma'am". <shudder>
Boycott of Legs Beautiful has commenced.
