The Title of my Blog Is a Lie Today

A few years ago, a friend of mine who had read my blog approached me and asked what I was going to call my blog when I turned 40.

"D'uh. I'm never turning 40, asshole," was my response.

Well, I'll be damned. Forty is officially here. (I stand corrected, @doctorjones).

Honestly, I never thought I'd need to change my blog title. I was going to be thirty-something (and sassy) for forever. Besides, thirty-something was a HUGE milestone. It took me years to come to terms with no longer being twenty-something.

For the record, I also hated turning 20 because someone told me, on my 20th birthday, that I couldn't go to Sugar Mountain anymore. You know, because I was too old. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but for a huge Neil Young fan, that news completely devastated me. To my core. It brought tears to my eyes. I never played that song on guitar again.

So it's pretty obvious that I have issues with entering new decades.

BUT NOT THIS ONE! Because I've decided to embrace 40. I'm embracing the hell out of it. I'm embracing it with a huge, strong-armed, lifting-it-off-the-floor, squeezing-it-so-tight-it-might pee-a-bit, bear hug.
The year approaching 40 has been awesome.

Steve and I got great promotions and genuinely enjoy our careers.

Our families are awesome, healthy and are able to help out whenever we ask (and sometimes even when we don't).

We have a network of friends that is so perfect that I couldn't have dreamt them all up - whether in our neighbourhood or our old school friends who live farther away, no matter when we all get together, we're welcomed and have a blast. And now that we're all 40 we all have money and/or power of some sort.

One of my friends just entertained us on his SAILBOAT - the one he bought with his very own money! Other friends regularly have us up to their cottage - the one they bought with their very own money! We drive up to see them in our car  - the one we bought WITH OUR VERY OWN MONEY!

Another friend was able to get us VIP tickets and backstage passes to see The Tragically Hip because she knows Paul Langlois (the guitarist). NOTE: This is the only way I will see concerts from now on - with VIP status or not at all. I'm not gonna be in the cheap seats like a sucker anymore. I'm 40 for crissakes. This may hinder my wish to see Pearl Jam and meet Eddie Vedder though so truthfully, I would break this rule to meet EdVed, just in case anyone has an "in"...

Our kids have accomplished incredible educational and athletic milestones (my 5/6 yo learned to play hockey, play soccer, swim without wings, ride a two-wheeler, tie his own shoes and READ during his SK year while my 7/8 yo played ice hockey and scored, ran relay in track and field practice and earned his green stripe in taekwondo during his grade 2 year - he also got his first concussion).

We were asked by a friend of mine to be in a magazine shoot for the Walmart Live Better Magazine (I finally made it into a glossy (!!!), although my original wish was to be paid to write for one someday, but whatever...I'm taking it). We said, "Sure, what the hell", And my boys nailed it! I was really proud of them - and so were they when they saw the pictures.

http://pinterest.com/pin/13299761372683529/

I have a pretty great little wardrobe, I can wear (and rock) high-heels like a pro, and I no longer care that my skin is freckly, dimply and a little drier than I'd like. I finally realize that: a) I'm not supposed to BE a supermodel so why have I been beating myself up for not looking like one and b) none of my friends like me for all of the ridiculous superficial reasons I used to think they liked me for.

Most importantly, at 40, I want for nothing (except for a clean and organized house, but that's another post).

What a great time in my life. It's so cliche but I really think it's true what everyone says: Forty is FREE! I've never felt more comfortable with myself. As. I. Am.

Sure, I still want to get running again, and I would love to lose 20 lbs, and I still hate that deep line in between my eyes that's getting deeper with every squint, but I want to make those improvements for ME. I know who I am now and who I want to be.

And it's not longing to be a teenager forever, which is what I felt when turning 20, mainly because I was afraid of having to be responsible for myself and not yet having a clue where my life was heading.

And it's not longing to be in my twenties, which is what I felt when turning 30, mainly because the expectations to buy a house and make babies was overwhelming and I was terrified of becoming a real-life grown-up!

And it's not longing to remain in my thirties like so many people expect me to. God, I wouldn't do my thirties over if I was paid to. What an awkward, life-changing decade, those thirties were - especially 30 to 36 with the whole pregnancy and new-mom thing that truly is complete and utter insanity.

Who I am at 40 is: Steve-marryin', two-kid-parentin', guitar-playin', top-of-my-lungs singin', Girls'-Night-Outin', business developin', high-heel kickin', magazine posin', wine-drinkin', cottage-lovin', Sassy-blog writin' ME! In one incredibly grammatically incorrect sentence.

So I will need to say good-bye to thirty-something-sass and show you what forty-something-sass is all about.

Soon, I will start writing with my forty-something voice. Hopefully my forties will get me writing more. I do find I have more things to say these days - just not much time to write it. But I might just have to find the time because the web needs some fortysomethingsass!

(Just to be clear, that's not talking about the ass of someone who's 40...it's really supposed to read like forty-something-sass not forty-something's ass...nevermind. But that's where you'll find me, @ http://forty-something-sass.blogspot.ca/)

Ssy out.

Minecraft Birthday Party!

It's that time of year again where I go batshit crazy planning my kids' birthday parties, going completely overboard, but secretly loving every minute of it.

Minecraft birthday party - the video game brought to life.

D turned eight and he decided on a Minecraft theme since its become an obsession in this house for the last six months. After scanning the net and Pinterest (obviously) I came up with some very cool ideas.

I was really intrigued with the idea of bringing the digital to life. The kids have been staring at these pixelated characters on the iPad and/or Xbox for months so I really wanted to give them a real-life Minecraft experience - specifically the sword (diamond) and the characters.

DIAMOND SWORD
I printed a template of a diamond sword onto 11x18 paper which turned out to be perfect scale for the eight year olds. I cut two of them out (careful, they may not be symmetrical, so you need to hold up to a light, back-to-back, line them up, tape the two pieces of paper together, then cut them both out at the same time). Then I traced the outline onto foam core board and used an exacto knife to carefully cut the form out. I was able to get 5 swords out of one piece of foam board. Then I cut thin double-sided tape into a zillion squares and went to work taping all of the nooks and crannies of the sword and then carefully laid the cut-out onto the tape.

DIY diamond swords

It was a ton of work - I'm not gonna lie (the first one took me over an hour to do) but the end result was so worth it, and the kids LOVED them. I think you can order similar swords online that are made of foam, for about $20 but I just couldn't justify spending that amount per kid. These cost me pennies to make.

MINECRAFT CHARACTER HEADS
I bought different colour gift bags at the dollar store and searched the net for closeup images of the heads. I cut the bag into a square, found the middle by folding lightly in half (top to bottom and side to side), lightly marked the gridlines with a pencil where I needed to draw and/or cut, then I coloured in the squares.

These were my first two:

I left them on the breakfast table for the boys to see in the morning and they freaked out, immediately put them on and began to act out a scene where Steve was mining and the Creeper came up from behind hissing. It was AWESOME.

After the first four, I ended up making a grid template on an old piece of foam core so it was easier to measure out the faces and the placement of the features. I made sure to cut small square eye-holes when I was done.

Pig head, Creeper heads, Steve head, Hero Brine head, Enderman heads.

MINECRAFT CAKE
After scouring the net for pictures of Minecraft cakes, we finally decided on the actual cake from Minecraft itself.

My neighbour decorated it for me and did a really good job. There were some incredible pictures of beautifully done cakes, but the majority used fondant and neither of us like fondant so we used Betty Crocker french vanilla and chocolate to ice the cake that was comprised of bottom and top layers of yellow cake and a middle layer of chocolate (baked in 8x8 pans). Then I melted red chocolate wafers, spread it onto waxed paper, waited until it was almost dry, then cut squares out to lay on top. Don't wait too long for the chocolate to dry or it'll crack when you' cut out the squares.

Minecraft cake

I had also done a cake for my son's actual birthday - it was a Creeper Cake. Pretty amateurish but he loved it.

Creeper cake

ACTIVITIES AND FOOD
For the actual party, we let the kids all watch a bunch of Minecraft youtube videos. Then we let them play Minecraft with each other on one of 7 iPads we had for the occasion. We had created a basic world in Creative and so the kids all went in and built stuff together while they sat beside each other in the family room. I'm pretty sure they would have done that the whole two hours had we let them.

The food was pizza (cut in squares), watermelon and for dessert, I did mushrooms (super easy and really delicious), torches (large pretzel sticks dipped in red melted wafers and then into white melted wafers that I added a bit of yellow gel to) and cookies plus the cake.
 

Marshmallow mushrooms, pretzel torches, cookies.

After lunch, I arranged for a scavenger hunt-type game that turned into chaos, so I won't go into it here... It would have been better had we been able to go outside. Either way, they each got prizes of their choosing and they ultimately had fun for 10 minutes. 


Then we did the GHAST PINATA. I bought a Family Size box of Cheerios. I took the box, made it more square-like, covered it in white paper, then drew the face onto another piece of paper and taped it on. I then wrapped some crepe paper around to look like the leg-things, and voila.

Ghast pinata -
It was kind of hard to break, but they eventually got it

After the pinata, they all grabbed the character masks and the swords and started playing. It was so awesome to see how much fun they had with the real-life props. One guy asked if they could keep the heads and I said yes, as long as there's no fighting. And there wasn't! Everyone was happy with what they got. 

Attack of the Enderman and Creepers

That's about it. Good luck if you're attempting to host a similar party. For what it's worth, when I asked my son how much he liked the party on a scale of one to 10 he said, "ummm, about 10,000". YES.

Now on to planning ds's Super Mario Bros party in April...
Ssy

Regarding "The Mom Stays in the Picture" Phenomenon

Ok, I might be late to this Aha-Moment party, but I know I’m not the only one.

Moms, have you seen this?! The Mom Stays in the Picture is an October 6th blogpost written by Allison Tate that relates her experience with hating to be in pictures because she never feels happy with how she looks.
 
Quick question ladies: how often have you ducked out of a picture that was finally being taken of you, because you felt greasy, chubby, unfashionable, gross, exhausted, bitchy, puffy and/or zitty? What's that you say? One bazillion times? Yeah, me too.  

My mom mentioned that a woman was on Katie Couric last week and she really wanted me and my sisters to look it up because it was pretty profound. So I Googled it this morning, teared up because I TOTALLY GOT IT, and then decided to get the message out to as many people as possible because it's SO MUCH BIGGER THAN PROFOUND!

Since sharing it on my own Facebook feed at 8 a.m. it’s been shared numerous times and several friends and family have written the same teary-eyed-goose-bump-inducing comments that I thought myself: “Wow. That is me!”

 
Does this sound familiar? I am forever complaining to my husband that I'm never in pictures. He always corrects me and says, "no, you never WANT to be in pictures" to which I yell "you only take the camera out in the most unflattering circumstances for me!!". And it's true. He does. Take Saturday mornings as a perfect example. My 5yo and/or 7yo is doing something super cute with me. Steve takes out the camera and aims and I yell STOP! Why? Well, since it's a non-work day I am inevitably greasy-faced and crusty-eyed, wearing a ratty tanktop, and always with my hair piled on the top of my head. I may or may not have coffee stains on me may be wearing unflattering glasses. But guess what? THAT'S ME! And that's how they know me and (still) love me. 

 

Me (feeling too exposed and roly and dough-y and greasy) and D finishing a really, really hard lego vehicle, but look at our pride!!

G and me (feeling crusty-eyed and greasy in the a.m.) but look at how funny something is!

 

It seems that no one ever feels good about themselves, especially in a society that Photoshops already “beautiful” models (remember Dove’s mind-blowing Evolution of Beauty commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U ?). Couple that feeling of “not-ever-pretty-enough” with a new mom who is in that state of first year sleep-deprived chaos, or a mom who has just not been able to lose the baby weight, or a mom who has just not been able to find time for a haircut, or a mom who only has out-dated too-tight clothes, or a mom who has just not felt GOOD about herself for whatever reason, and BANG! You have the recipe for never wanting to be in a picture and therefore ERASING YOUR OWN PARTICIPATION IN YOUR FAMILY'S HISTORY!!

The amount of pictures we have of my mom with her hand up, face posed in the formation of her yelling "NO!" far outnumber the photos we have of her being candid or posing (If I can find one, I'll post for sure). We have joked about this in my family for years. And my aunt does it and my sisters both do it and my friends do it and ohmygod what are we doing?!

Moms, I'm talking to you: SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET IN THAT PICTURE! You are YOU! Embrace it.
 

Kudos to Allison Tate (@AllisonState) for making this into something that we moms need to take seriously. For all the moms who feel embarrassed of what they look like, remember Allison’s sentiments: you may not be “perfect” for your child/ren to look at, but you are perfectly their mother.

All the best,

Ssy

My first "pin"

So I've been addicted to Pinterest for about four months now. I have turned countless friends and family members into addicts of the site, and yet I have yet to come up with an original "pin" myself. Until now.

Low Fat Oreo Blizzards, people!!!

Who doesn't love going to DQ, especially with 40+ degree humidex readings? Save yourself the added expense, fat and calories. It's so easy and totally satisfying.


Ingredients:

1/2 c frozen yogurt (PC brand is 100 calories and 2 g fat)
2 30% less fat Oreos (110 calories, 5.5 g fat)
Directions:
Spoon frozen yogurt into bowl.
Place 3 Oreos into food processor and spin until you reach desired crumbliness.
Put crushed Oreos into bowl.
Smash together.
You can do this with any toppings so get creative (I've had great results with M&M’s as well).
Enjoy.
Ssy
(@ssyreebs)

****************************************************************
Compare:
1 mini OREO Blizzard (195 grams) = 380 calories, 14 g fat
Nutritional Info Source:

http://www.idq.com/content/Nutrition/DQ%20Nutrition%20Allergy%20Treat%20Brochure%20-%20Canada.pdf

Rant: Supersuckers

So I go to Legs Beautiful in First Canadian Place yesterday, to buy a little something to smooth my stomach (yes, I sometimes need smoothing, shutup).

I already have the Spanx Power Panty from 5 years ago, but I was wearing an above the knee dress and I didn't want the shorts part to show. So I walked to a display table of unpackaged super-suckers and honed in on two different kinds of exactly what I wanted - and they both happened to be Spanx. I asked the salesperson what the difference was between the two and she quickly nudged me toward the one with better stomach support (as opposed to the better butt-support style). It was the Spanx Simplicity High Waist Panty in nude.

"Great", I said, "where can I try it on"?

She said, "Oh, you're not allowed to try it on. Store policy".

I said, "But they're $90. Do you know how many times I’ve bought packaged pantyhose that promised not to "roll down" but then totally rolled down by the 2nd minute of sitting? I'm not falling for that again, especially not for $90".

"Sorry Ma'am (P.S. I HATE being called Ma'am but that's another post), it's store policy that you can't try this pair on".

"But I will leave my underwear on, obviously".

"Nope, sorry".

"But people are allowed to try on BATHING SUITS, for crying out loud".

"Yes, but bathing suits have that little plastic sticker on the inside".

Exasperated at the ridiculousness of her comment, I rolled my eyes and countered, "Then give me a plastic bag or some tape and I'll put it in the crotch area".

"You can't do that. And anyway, the integrity of the product will be stretched out if you try it on".

"Really? So what you're telling me is that I should spend $90 on a product that may or may not suit my needs, but that the products' integrity will immediately be rendered imperfect if you let me TRY IT ON ONCE. I’m pretty sure the brand would not be as successful as they are if they lost their integrity with one try-on".

"Sorry Ma'am <cringe>, it's store policy".

"So, what else do you have then, that isn't $90 and that will help me out"?

"Well, we have this $30 kind but it's not Spanx".

"Great," I said, "can I try them on"?

"Yes you can, we have a sample in a medium if you'd like".

"Seriously? You have demos of THIS brand, but you won't buy a sample from Spanx, THE most POPULAR super-sucker brand known to womankind"?

As if I was a complete idiot, she cocks her hip, tisks her tongue and says, "Well if we did that, what size would we use"?

"Um, how about medium, since there's 10 large, 11 small, and only one medium left on your display? It's obviously your most popular size".

"Well, we just don't do that".

"But you DO! For this other brand! Oh. My. God. Goodbye".

"Sorry Ma'am". <shudder>


Boycott of Legs Beautiful has commenced.

My Community Rocks

Today's the "last day of school" in my 'hood and I am super-excited. Why? Because there's a big party for all the kids and all the parents. And I love it. I love celebrating something as a pack.

It's our third year attending and I look forward to it every year because every year I feel a bit more comfortable, I know a few more of the parents, and I have a tad more experience so I can help out the newbies. It's a time when the parents drink cold beers and discuss everything about the school year - past and upcoming, good and bad, gossipy and informative - while 30 kids have a massive water balloon fight and play at the park under a bunch of teenagered-supervision.

It's a backyard filled beyond capacity with relaxed people, delicious food and ample excitement. And I love it.



Two hour water balloon filling initiative - we broke more than we filled, but we still managed about 70 total, and I have a balloon-tying-blister on my finger to prove it.



The Caring Continuum

This is brilliant. I found it on @kellyoxford's blog (http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/post/24914248261 and it perfectly explains my biggest verbal pet peeve. Read it and exercise it people. EXERCISE IT.

Birthday Party Madness

I don't know where it came from, I don't know how long it'll last, but I am obsessed with creating completely over-the-top birthday parties for my kids (but subconsciously, it's likely way more for me).

It began when I was on my 2nd mat leave and I had time to bake my own cake for Steve and thought it would be fun for my 2.5 yo to help out. We decided on a dinosaur themed cake, since Duncan was obsessed with dinosaurs, and this was the result:

Really bad, right? Tasted good though. And it got the creative juices flowing.

Not great, I know, but that was free-hand with only Betty Crocker French Vanilla icing tinted with normal food colouring, on a boxed cherry-chip cake. And so the madness began.

Every year since daycare started, I had to bring in treats for the daycare kids, so enter extra-large iced cookies:

I made this with Pillsbury Cookie Dough in the tube and some more french vanilla icing with normal food colouring, all for under $5 bucks. So good, so easy, high impact and doesn't cost $35+ dollars <ahem> Mrs. Fields (I'm not kidding - look it up).

Then I tried my hand at rice krispie squares - topped with icing (natch), a delicious and easy treat:

Duncan was obsessed with Thomas at the time - pretty primary, but the kid thought I was Picasso.

As for actual birthday parties, we usually rented a big play space at the very last minute and at a ridiculously high cost and large guest list (trying to get our money's worth).

That is, until last year. That was when we failed to book something in December for Duncan's 6th party at the end of January 2011. We decided to try our hand at having an at-home party. I mean, how hard could it be? It's just an exaggerated play-date, with cake and presents, right?

Holy shit, no it wasn't.

Duncan had a new obsession at the time - Harry Potter. Even though he hadn't even seen any of the movies or read any of the books, he HAD to have a Harry Potter birthday party. I was totally game - I had read the first five books a decade ago and had seen some of the films. I was actually really excited to have a common interest with Duncan that we could both get excited about.

So, as any mother would do when faced with an exorbitant task with very little time and very little inspiration, I googled the hell out of "Harry Potter Birthday Party for a 6 year old" and all the variations I could dream up.

After reading countless posts from the prior ten years, I copied the text of an invitation, replacing some things, here and there. When I printed it off, it looked pretty plain, so I found a Hogwarts Logo, and pasted it in as a watermark.

 

It still didn't have the old-worldly vibe that I was going for, so I decided to try colouring the stark-white printer paper with a wet tea bag and then let it dry over our floor heater in the kitchen. It turned out PERFECTLY  - the colour was a nice tinge of old, while the wetness of the tea bag created a nice weathered and crinkly feel to the paper. And just to go completely and obnoxiously overboard, I found a red candle, and after tri-folding the letter, I sealed it with the wax. We delivered them to the daycare the next day and to my surpsrise, the majority of the parents responded in the role-play genre.

After the invitations were taken care of, I had to begin the planning of the actual party. From all of the ideas I gathered from the interwebz, I settled on the following:

Sorting Hat and House Badges

I made this sorting hat out of brown paper bags that I taped together and just played around with the design. It worked out pretty well.  Then I printed off the house badges, cut them out and put double-sided tape on the backs. When the kids came in, we used an iPad Harry Potter game that had a part of the game that would allow you to have the sorting hat choose your house. If the kids liked what they were given, they kept it - if they wanted to change houses, they could. Because he was only 6, we didn't really break off into team game-play, so it was just something cool to start out with.

After the kids got settled in, we got started with Potions Class. I had 3 big bottles of Bubbly Water (Club Soda), Sweet Bubbly Water (Sprite) and Puddle Water (Root Beer). Each kid had a clear plastic cup with a stir stick.

Potions Class set up for 16 kids.

Nice sugar rush for the kids right off the bat.

Then on the side I had jars set up with Dried Dragon Spit (Pop Rocks), Frog Eyeballs (peeled grapes frozen in ice cubes), Frozen Rodent Poo (wild blueberries frozen in ice cubes), And other special powders (coloured koolaids) and sprinkles. After we poured the liquid, we passed aroung the other stuff and let them add as much or as little as they liked. Kids enjoyed it and the sugar rush it gave them.

Next, we had the kids select wands. I had a ton of chopsticks from years of take-out gluttony, so I used those and prettied them up with electrical tape and ribbons. Then they stood in a cup and each kid could choose their own. Unfortunately, the only picture I have was of one of the boys collected and pocketing the leftovers at the end of the party.



If you look closely, you can see the differnt coloured tips.



I looked up some simple spells online and we gathered in the basement. I taught them the spells and we played around with falling down, or freezing people or making them go crazy or making them lie down.

Next we brought out the Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans for the adventurous ones:

I kept the chart hidden and made up names for all of them and let them go at them.

Then we did Care for Magical Creatures. Again, I did NOT get a picture of this and it was sooo cool. Steve and I spent a half hour the night before stuffing little Dragon and Magical Creature plastic figurines into dark gray and black balloons and then blowing them up. It was pretty awesome. I still don't know how we got them into the balloons but we did - and with only 3 minor skin wounds.

This is what they creatures looked like and if you look hard, you can see the wand in the backgroun too.

We let the kids pick their own balloons and play gently with them for a while. Then I got the scissors out and began "hatching" the "eggs". They added those toys to their lootbags.

Lunch (pizza, fruit, veggies) was served with juice boxes. Then the cake came out. It was my first foray into the magical world of proper cake-decorating food-colouring gel. Besides the black icing tasting like hell, I think it turned out really well.

My Harry Potter Cake - a coloured representation of all the Hogwarts' Houses.

After the cake, we did the Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. After training, I pulled out the Dementor Pinata and the kids had at it for about 10 minutes, before we had to get a knife to help them.


Dementor Pinata - made with black tissue paper and some black eyeshadow trying to define a ghastly face.

 After the pinata, it was almost time to go. I had a huge display of candy laid out (ala HoneyDukes) and gave each kid a plastic bag and said they could choose 5 different types (gummy worms, ring pops, chocolate rocks, licorice, etc.). Obviously, the candy store was a huge hit.

All in all, a very rockin' party. My favourite part was the huge hug I got from Duncan right before bedtime - by total surprise - and when he said, "thanks for the awesome party, Mommy". He really loved it and I almost felt like he was proud of it. Score.

This post is now out of control, so I'll wrap it up.

But be prepared for my next blog documenting the most AWESOME 7 year old Star Wars party EVER...!

A Z-lister is Born

Wow, what a crazy day.

First of all, I was surprised to open my email to a note informing me that an article I had written had already been published on yummymummyclub.ca …
(http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/family/toddlers/age-three-is-the-magic-number)

…and then, as if that wasn't enough, I also made the cover of the Fall 2011 Canadian WineCrafter Magazine for an event I attended in September with (again) the Yummy Mummy Club.

http://www.winemadesimple.ca/media/CCWA_Fall_2011.pdf


It was a Create Your Own Wine Club/Win Thirty Bottles of Wine contest sponsored by the Canadian Craft Winemakers Association who partnered with YMC in order to expand their social media reach.  I thought it was an awesome contest and a great event. And the wine (I chose Shiraz) is seriously delicious. I love wine. I love free wine even more.

This is fun stuff! Being published is a little thrill in itself, so the fact that I also get to be a winemaking covergirl? Crazy! I will undoubtedly, be getting some teasing among family and friends but that won't stop me from singing the America’s Next Top Model theme song to myself for the next week (Wanna be on top?) Yes. Super-cheesey but c’mon, when am I ever going to be on the cover of a magazine again?!! 

It also just goes to show you, those contests are out there for anyone to wine. I mean win...

Gotta go practice my smeyesing in case Tyra calls! Oh, who am I kidding...

Ssy