Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

Ok, I am officially the worst blogger ever.

Who has time to blog? Not me. I have tried, man. I really wanted to pump out three, maybe four entries a week, just for the month of August to prove I could be the Next Blogger for Today‘s Parent, but could  I pull that off? Sadly, no.

I started off while on vacation - it was a strong start, but even then I forced out three per week. Flash to returning to work in the second week of August and having to play catch-up for my two glorious weeks off as well as getting thrown in to three huge new business deals, and the pressure was on.

But that’s just my 9-to-5 job. I can’t forget having to take the kids to swimming lessons every day for two weeks straight and to soccer once a week, shopping for and attending two birthday parties, having overnight guests two weekends in a row, taking G to speech-therapy, running three to four times a week (ok, attempting three to four runs per week, which is also pretty exhausting). Excuses? I have a ton of them, but come on. How is a person supposed to find time to finish the Stieg Laarson trilogy, let alone write a blog?!!

This writing thing is such a commitment. I know this already. Everything that’s worth getting good at means making a commitment.  I know this from learning to play the guitar (I play chords well, but didn’t have the time to get really great), running (after the first three weeks of cardio-building, the battle is all about getting out of bed at 6 a.m. which I‘m also not great at), and writing. Writing is hard when everything else comes first. And that’s why I was trying to put this first for a moment, while I was relaxed (and possibly tipsy) on vacation up north, but alas, it just wasn’t meant to be.

I hate failing. But I hate not owning up to failure more. So here is my towel, my white flag, my hands in the air. I surrender, Today’s Parent. I am not your Next Top Blogger - this year. But I’d love to write an article that investigates the question, who has time to Blog? Let me know if you’re interested.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Birthday Fish

So I’m celebrating a birthday today (was actually yesterday). And for my birthday, my boys decided it would be a great idea to get the family some fish. Why did they think I would want a fish for my birthday? Payback from Steve. We got him a beta, that lasted two weeks, for his birthday back in November. I thought it was a sweet idea. Duncan and I went to Petsmart and picked out a small tank with some food and we even paid a premium for our fish because he was the most colourful one for sale.


When we presented him to Steve, the morning of his birthday, he faked surprise and enjoyment but truthfully, seriously, who wants a fish for their birthday? I thought it was a nice thought since they had been fishing all summer long and they read fishing magazines together all the time, and they truly love fish. So, nice idea right? Now I know.


Duncan named it Pablo. I have no idea where he got that name from but it stuck. And two weeks later, we awoke to an upside-down floating Pablo.


Duncan took it surprisingly well, and for some reason decided we should get another fish immediately so that he could call it Tarro. Okaaaay. 


Flash to that night, an inconsolable D cried deeply for 3 straight hours, bereaving the Remarkable Pablo. What happened to the soon-to-be-bought Tarro? Forgotten and never to be bought.


D eventually cried himself to sleep but when he awoke, it started all over again until we offered a proper burial in the back garden complete with headstone that D and I painted together. Once he was in the ground, the tears stopped and life moved forward. I guess the kid just needed some closure. 


Flash to today, and the kids informed me we would be buying four fish for my birthday - one for each of us named Butt, Erred, Pop, and Corn. Hooray for me.


We went to the pet store today and after picking one goldfish only (Steve refused to buy another tank and the Fish Specialist warned us we could only have one goldfish in our current 2L tank), we named it (Tiger) and took him home to get settled in his tank. Four and a half hours later, Duncan noticed Tiger was abnormally swim-floating on his side. So long, Tiger. Rest in peace. August 15, 2010 2 p.m. - August 15, 2010 7:28.


Duncan only cried for 45 minutes this time and it was mainly because the store wasn’t open to buy a new one immediately. I think we’re hardening him towards death because we’re scheduled to buy a replacement tomorrow. Is this good or bad parenting?


Ssy

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

New home

Welcome to Thirty-Something-Sass's new home. I just transferred all entries from the past two years. The reason? Because I couldn't figure out how to make my text have spaces and I despised seeing one big continuous lump of text!


Happy reading and wish me luck in my new home!


Ssy

After-Vacation Blues

Being back to work from two glorious weeks of cottage vacation really blows. 


Add on a massive heat-wave that hits on the Sunday before you start work, the surprising realization that your air conditioner has somehow broken during your absence (natch) and having to watch your partner-in-parenting prepare for his three-day business trip to Montreal, and you will be able to see, with the naked eye, the stress re-piling onto previously-relaxed shoulders. Nothing like re-emergence-chaos. What’s that term for deep-sea divers who come up too fast? Google says it’s Decompression Sickness (DCS). That’s it. I think I have that. I wonder if I could get a doctor’s note. Get me a hyperbaric chamber, stat. 


Single-parenting for three days is bad enough. I hate to say it but it feels like taking two weeks of vacation is almost not worth it. Almost. For the amount of work that goes in to preparing for vacation and then coming back to an onslaught of piled-up work, having to cover co-workers’ workload who left for vacation the day you return, and finally, having to field the dozens of well-meaning colleagues‘ polite inquiries into said two-weeks away…it’s enough to drive a woman to drink (an additional glass of wine, that is). 


What’s today’s equivalent to the 1980’s bath soap commercial’s famous line, “Calgon, take me away” or “Serenity now!” from the Seinfeld series of the 90’s? Did we have one for the 00’s? Let me know if you can think of one. Off to bed in order to face Day 3 A.V. (after vacation). Night. 


Ssy

Follower

So, I’m on vacation at the cottage, and pretty content because I’m 48% (according to my Kindle) through The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson. I’ve wanted this book since I read an article in the Toronto Star Books section, two weeks ago, and then even more so since I read a piece in the Globe and Mail this past weekend (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/the-summer-of-stieg-larsson/article1657742/ ). 


The question I raise is, why did I have to have these books? Why was it that I needed the books, immediately, even though, I was perfectly happily reading White Tiger by Aravind Adiga for my book club? 


Something happened to me and I don’t think I like it. I succumbed to the propaganda posed in the articles written about these books (“Men are becoming girl-with-tattoo widowers, because their wives only want to get cozy with the book at night.” ). But how can it even be propaganda if the authors aren’t propagating anything but the goodness of a read? I’m pretty sure they’re not getting a cut of the royalties… It may have been the intriguing back-story of the posthumous author (and how he died of a heart attack in 2004 before the trilogy was even published), or maybe it was the several of my Facebook-friend-status-updates that included the titles in some way (e.g. “just finished all three Stieg Larsson books…what a great long weekend”). I did find it weird, however, that none of my close friends have ever suggested it to me…maybe that was it? I had to read it to find out how awesome it was in order to recommend it to my own reading network? 


Whatever it was, I finally succumbed. And when I did, I had a difficult time purchasing the books on my Kindle. 


After doing what I had to do (no comment), I finally procured the titles and began to read and now, at 48% though the first book, I am riveted…taken. Just as those damn articles told me I would be. I hate being told what to do, and yet I allowed myself…no, I demanded I read these books myself and BANG, they did exactly what the articles said… I got hooked and can barely drag myself away from the text to: a) feed the children, b) play with the children and/or c) get another drink while watching the children. 


Did I allow myself to be taken by the hype, or did I simply read a couple of articles that stated how intriguing the Millennium series was and then decide I might like it as well? Who doesn’t look for a stellar recommendation when selecting a new book, especially for summer vacation? Unless I’m forced into a book (i.e. book club), I actually enjoy when a trusted friend suggests a title for me. It can be quite a chore, (albeit, at times, a welcome one when I have the time to commit to a search) to enter a bookstore as a blank slate, looking for my next read…but MAN, I love it when someone tells me what I will love. Is that too submissive of me?


originally posted: 11:10 PM - 2010-AUG-3

Dock-sitting

Me. Alone on a dock. 


I’m sitting here at midnight, the last night of July, alone, on the dock, writing on my laptop for the first time ever. The laptop seems so obtrusive because it’s the only light in the moonless night. But I came here to write. It’s not comfortable…I can’t type properly and the light blinds my vision from the beauty of the night. But when I close the lid, oh my god, it is beautiful. The silence. The sounds. Splashes and splooshes keep coming from the lake…fish? Turtles? I can barely differentiate the fireflies hovering above the water from the reflected stars in the water. 


My love for cottage/nature/dock-sitting came from my youth when I was often invited up to friends’ cottages. Two years ago my in-laws bought a cottage which means I get to relive my youth and my boys get to grow up knowing nothing but cottage-life. They will always have this place. I’m the luckiest person alive. I can’t be more grateful towards my in-laws. A pristine lake, a lot backing onto crown land, winterized…it’s where we come as a family to swim and play, to toboggan and skate. 


My boys are learning to fish from their dad who in turn has been able to rekindle his love for fishing. With their cousins they’re learning to catch frogs and to stalk the turtle who keeps visiting our dock. They’re catching butterflies and hunting bugs. They’re learning to swim, and building CN Towers out of sand. They run so fast into the shallow beach water, they actually think they can run on top of the water. They love the cottage. So do I.

originally posted: 9:49 AM - 2010-AUG-1

Puke

What is with kids getting sporadically sick, for no reason, no warning at all? And what’s with the sick leaving as quickly as it came (not that I’m complaining)? Does the dangling explanation of “what the hell just happened?“ keep anyone else up for the rest of the night? 


Last Thursday, my five-year-old woke at 11:30, came into our room and crawled in with me complaining of a stomach ache. Steve wanted to give us more space (or, more accurately, give himself more space) so went in to sleep with our three-year-old, Griffin. I guess I should mention that D and G share a double bed. As Steve laid down in the bed, he encountered wet. He thought it was Duncan-drool, but then the odour of bile struck and he realized he laid in puke. Ewewew. 


He came in carrying Griffin, told me what happened, stripped off the puke-bedding, then immediately jumped in the shower. Duncan had been snuggled up to me until Steve debriefed me and that was when I was accosted by the stench of puke. Is there really anything worse than that smell? I stripped off his shirt and changed him into fresh clothes even though he didn’t even flinch. Could he not smell/taste/feel it? I guess not. Anyway, I lay there in bed for the rest of the night, letting him play with my ear, recoiling from him every time he moved/coughed/breathed, all the while neurotically wondering: what made him puke? He had no fever. No one mentioned any sickness at daycare. We all ate the same thing that night with no similar reaction….yet. Oh man, is that a stomach pang I feel? Is my head hurting? Is that a chill? No, no and no. So what was it then? Is he going to puke again? Oh please, no. Do we have time, as a family to get sick? Can I miss work? What about our vacation next week? Oh I hate puking. Do I have any other clean sheets? I should put the puke sheets in the washer now, just in case. I should at least get a towel and lay it on the pillows so if he pukes I can replace them and not get puke on the pillow cases. I hate puke-smell. Should I get him a bucket? Is he hot? No. Oh my stomach…is that a pain? No. Ugh. Five more hours til I have to get up. 


I don‘t want to puuuke! !


originally posted: 10:06 AM - 2010-JUL-30

Here we go! (for real)

I received an email from Today's Parent that touted a contest to find the next big blogger for Today's Parent. 


I have decided to use this to stoke my writing fire, potentially get noticed and at the very least practice my writing skills by actually posting a blog at least 4 times a week. I will choose my best one to "submit" by the end of the August deadline and then I will be chosen as a top-three finalist, win, then become an official blogger for TP in the Fall for three months, and then…the world. 


I like this goal. It's got a purpose, an end and therefore it motivates me to do something with my writing. And my life. Not that I don't have a life...I have an amazing one that I'm thankful for every single day. But there's something to be said about finding a passion and working it. I hate being envious of people who are "working" their passion - as in, working 37.5 hours a week and making a full-time salary for doing what they love. EN-VEE-US. And that's why I'm doing this blog. 


Actually, I began 30-something-sass to get me writing. And once you get writing, regularly, you get better. Right? So I’m choosing to blog about my life as a wife of Steve, mother of two amazingly-cool boys, worker in the financial services industry and all-around wicked-awesome-total-loser-30-something-girl-who-is-consummately-26-in-her-own-head. And just so you get a deeper understanding of who you're reading, I MAY be doing this because the horoscope that I read for the month of July (at astrologyzone.com) said I was going to be super-successful in the upcoming months so I figured I might as well attempt this writing thing now while the stars are aligned! And, there you have it. 


See you four times a week!! Ssy

originally posted: 8:10 AM - 2010-JUL-28

Subway Etiquette Vol. 2

Yesterday, I had the (dis)pleasure of standing directly in front of a guy, on the subway, who decided it was perfectly fine to eat a big ol' tupperware bowl full of cereal. With milk. And a big spoon. CEREAL. SUBWAY!


Besides the obvious grossness of all those subway germs diving into his breakfast, and for the very real potential to spill his gross germified-milk bowl all over me should the subway suddenly stop or start (WHICH HAPPENS ALL THE TIME), I really don't know why this angered me so much. I was raging and screaming at the top of my lungs, in my head, at this 30 year-old-Bran-Flake-eating-scruffy-lookin'-knapsack-wearing-hipster-jerk, just because he thought it was totally appropriate to eat his CEREAL on the SUBWAY. Slurping and chewing and letting the milk slosh all over the place, threatening to splash me at any sudden movement...

This one was so aggravating, it even tops my frustration with the Groomers - you know the ones who decide to clip their nails (I've seen finger and toe) while lounging in one of the seats as if it was their own couch in their living room, except, I bet they don't clip their nails on the couch in their living room because WHO WANTS TO WALK OR SIT ON DISGUSTING SHARP CLIPPED NAILS?

Why didn't I say anything to Cereal Boy? I don't know but it has bothered me for an entire day and a half. I'm hoping writing about it will banish it from my mind. Jerk.

Ssy

originally posted: 3:12 PM - 2010-JUN-10

You Don’t Like Me, You Really Don’t Like Me!



Ok, so what the hell is going on? Is it that time of year? Everyone’s making fresh starts, detoxifying, ridding themselves of baggage…for some, the “baggage” is no longer hiding that they hate ME. I knew it was a possibility…growing up with two sisters giving me daily mantras of “I hate you! You are useless! I wish you were never born” really made me want to be likeable and friendly so it‘s how I made it through life. I simply liked it better when people said “Hello“ to me instead of “You ruined my life“. Enter 2010...suddenly, in the last few days, haters-of-me are no longer in hiding.

Being January, I just wanted to concentrate on my own body’s detox and excess-weight purge. Instead, my gut is taking a beating since learning that people at work (note the plural people) have been bad-mouthing me in front of peers and today I was yelled at, in front of peers again, by someone who I thought was a friend. Yelled at!

I used to live in a blind bliss where nothing really affected me too deeply (unless it was glaringly obvious). But recently, all hell has broken loose and everyone, it seems, has gone mad. At least towards me, anyway. I am no longer the “one who gets along with everyone”. Suddenly, I am abhorred by some, despised by a few and just plain bitchy to everyone else. “Likeable” and “friendly”? Rest in peace.

Life lesson time - not everyone is going to like me. I used to have just one or two people who I knew didn’t like me and it took me a long time to get over it but I always thought that as long as I stayed off of their To Kill list, I’d be ok. In light of new facts, I have thought about this a bit deeper and I was able to list at least six people who, would sneer when they heard my name, might even spit at it if they had the opportunity and would likely kick me in the shin if they could.

My skin is thickening as I type. I’m notching this realization on my belt and will continue to try to not piss people off or be mean for the sake of being mean (or funny). But man, I really miss the ignorant bliss of my youth (read: anytime before last week).

So as I sit and reflect while finishing this box o’ wine from the holiday season (I‘m detoxing my fridge), I remind you to pay attention to who you’re angry at and to decide whether or not it‘s worth your energy and theirs (if they know your feelings). Such toxicity is not productive for the body or the mind. Especially mine.

originally posted: 7:32 PM - 2010-JAN-11

You gotta write if you wanna write



Ok, I’ve been away from this for a while but realize I need to work out my writing brain if I want to write, so here we go.

A few things have inspired me lately. One, this H1N1 hysteria has pissed me off. I hate being stressed about making an important decision on behalf of my children (read: to vaccinate or not to vaccinate). At very corner, there’s another person with an opinion - educated or not - that makes me rethink my own stance. And I could certainly do without the added worry from the media sensationalizing any and every story that will sell their newspapers or broadcasts. At this time (Nov 10) I still haven’t decided but plan to in the near future.

The second thing that inspired me to write is getting a note from an editor at cottage life in regards to an article idea I pitched to him in March…yes, March. (NOTE: Since embarking on this Journey to Publication, I have learned that writing is not about quick gratification). Although the editor did not actually accept my idea, he did not NOT accept it…meaning, he pointed me in the direction of a 200 word anecdotal piece for their On The Waterfront section (instead of a 800 word piece I pitched for a different part of the same section). A foot in the door is a foot in the door, even if it’s only 200 words…change that to a “published” 200 words.

The third inspirational twang was reading a girlfriends’ blog. She’s recently gotten herself back into the dating scene and has been graciously writing about the good, bad and adrenaline rush-ness of online meeting and greeting. I love reading about real life tense and stressful situations and hers are deeply fascinating. Raw and real and I love being with her, every step of the way!

Ok, so I’m back. Regular writing is key.

Thanks for reading, whoever you are.
Ssy

8:17 PM - 2009-NOV-15

PUBLISHED!

I am officially published. As of May 13, 2009, I was a published writer. That's right. Maybe I should capitalize it. Published Writer. Published Writer. And in The Globe and Mail no less!!
What a total and amazing rush. Setting a goal to be published this year and then seeing my name in the byline of The Globe and Mail made me so ridiculously proud.
Everyone was so unbelieveably supportive - Steve, family, friends, colleagues - total rush.
Unfortunately the Globe online underwent a major redesign two weeks after it waspublished so I can't link to the article as it ran but I found a mobile version (update: you need to copy and paste the following url into your browser but I also pasted it as it appeared, at the bottom of this entry).
I also very much enjoyed the firestorm of comments that came out of my essay. There were 107 at last count - some very nasty and judgemental ones that questioned my decision to even have kids and others that were very supportive and totally understood what it meant to have a loving family - one that works together and believes that happy parents are great parents. Rush!!
And that's that. For now.

Ssy

Facts & Arguments Essay

I DON'T WANT TO BE A STAY-AT-HOME MOM

There. I said it. It sounds so ugly, but I like working and having a little me time
STEPHANIE REBOT TARLING
From Wednesday's Globe and Mail  
A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. My heart started to pound. I was in a total panic.
After some serious number-crunching, my husband Steve had just offered me the opportunity of a lifetime: staying at home with our sons, three-year-old Duncan and 11-month-old Griffin.
"We'd have to pull Duncan from preschool, we'd need to shop a little smarter and we wouldn't be able to get that cleaning lady that we wanted to hire, but we could do it," Steve said.
I had mentioned to him, the night before, that I was starting to get weepy about my mat leave coming to an end. And then he surprised me with that dangling carrot.
I had never given staying at home any serious thought. That "weepy day" just happened to be a wonderful, tantrum-free one full of playing, shopping and napping - and no chores. It was one of those few and far between, perfect, at-home-mom days.
I thought about my husband's suggestion for five minutes, and then let the idea pass.
I awoke the next morning to a pounding headache. Could I stay at home? Wasn't that what so many young mothers wanted? A chance to be a full-time, 24/7 mother to her children? Wasn't I supposed to want to jump to the phone, dial my boss's number and tender my resignation immediately?
Why, then, was that the last thing I wanted to do? I was being suffocated with the notion of staying at home. Wasn't I jealous that two of my friends had just happily decided to do the same thing? What exactly had I been jealous of?
It wasn't that I was exceptional at my job in the financial industry or anything. I surely wasn't looking forward to a daily 6 a.m. shower and subsequent meltdown over what shirt-and-pants combo best minimized that muffin-top roll at my waist. In short, I hadn't been chomping at the bit to go back, but the assumption was that I would go. End of story. This opportunity was a real surprise for me.
The day I returned to work after my first maternity leave, I was drunk with excitement at dinnertime, telling Steve everything about the day: all the uninterrupted conversations I had had with people, how happy everyone was to see me and, mainly, how everything was exactly the same.
I had been so anxiety-ridden for the month leading up to my return that I was giddy at the end of my first day back to learn that nothing had changed in my post-baby working world.
We had the luck of finding a great babysitter just down the street from us, so my child was in good hands. The busy new routine aside, I was quite enjoying my newfound me time again. I had forgotten about me for a while. To have people's undivided attention for adult conversation all day long was dreamy.
I even (gasp) enjoyed the commute with my iPod and my book. That's right, I enjoyed riding the subway. Possibly the only thing a stay-at-home mom is not guaranteed in her day is time alone. But a commuter is promised that 20 minutes twice a day. Sure, that time is shared with hundreds of strangers and the same number of unidentified smells, but it's still time to myself.
I might have had a different response to my husband's offer had it been after my first maternity leave. I think I would have been way more open to the idea, especially since I knew other young moms who would be off as well and I was used to spending the whole day with my son. Most importantly, I despised the idea of giving him to someone else to care for during the day.
But with hindsight being 20/20, it all worked out. And I don't think I would have changed things if I had had the opportunity.
Truthfully, the idea of staying at home with both boys scared me. I didn't fully understand the fear since I knew I could do it. The problem was did I want to do it? And how awful was I for voicing this concern?
I don't want to stay at home with my children full-time. There. I said it, first to myself and then to my husband. It sounded so ugly and I felt dirty for saying it, but it was the truth. I think we're all better off with me working outside our home.
Thankfully, Steve didn't judge me. He didn't mention the fact that I'm basically working in order to pay for our astronomical daycare expenses. We never discussed it again.
Except for the time when we humored the idea of having a third child - now that would mean I would have to stay home and probably even force us to move to the suburbs for more space. But that's not likely to happen.
Stephanie Rebot Tarling lives in Toronto.

11:08 PM - 2009-MAY-21

A message to young girls: stop it!

I saw a pretty girl on the subway this morning, 16-ish, with a hot-pink tam hat on her head, shocking purple tights on her legs, and canary yellow studs the size of large gumballs in her earlobes. I wanted to walk to her, grab her arms, shake her lightly while looking into her blue-eye-shadowed eyes, then embrace her like a sister and say, “honey, I did the 80’s and I regret it more than anything – the hair, the accessories, the neon, the neon…oh god the neon…” but I couldn’t say anything because, who am I? Although I am a survivor of the fashion faux-pas-ness that was the 80’s, I have no control over today’s fashions other than to never, ever wear anything like that again. And anyway, the rule is, if you’ve already lived through a trend, stay the hell away from it the next time it comes around, right? There is a God. As for the girl, I guess it’ll give her something to write about in ten years when she looks back at the 10,000 Facebook pictures she posted…

And what is with this over-sized bag trend that is sweeping young girls off their feet, literally. Why do they think they look cool with these gigantic bags lodged into the crook of their elbow forcing the palm of their hand up and outstretched from their body, reminiscent of a vagrant begging for coins? It is so obnoxious. I blame the designers for making these purses with the little tiny handles that these girls hoist into their elbow and I blame Sex and the City for making them look cool and amazing. These girls can’t possibly have enough money to buy these bags or enough stuff to fill them! I didn’t even own a purse until I started working in an office environment ten years ago. And even then it was only to hold my wallet, blistex and face powder, maybe an umbrella if it was threatening rain, and my book. What do these girls carry in their oversized arm-breaker purses? I’m guessing crap. Perhaps a lip gloss (or five), a cell phone and a wallet. The rest is undoubtedly crap.

Maybe I’m being harsh. I know they all want to be the next Carrie Bradshaw of their generation but don’t they realize she’s fictional? And even if they become a version of her, they can never be immortalized in a television show about their Carrie Bradshaw-ness because it’s already been done!

While I’m ranting anyway, I have one more thought I’d like to address. The Parisification of  voices – all high-pitched, baby-ish and non-assertive. I’m sureParis Hilton would argue that it’s purposely being unassertive in a far-reaching attempt to get the upper hand in a male-dominated world. What she doesn’t take into consideration is that strong, assertive women don’t fall for it and think it’s lame. And quite frankly, a setback for those of us who don’t want people thinking we’re baby girls. Why does she talk like that and why do so many young girls copy it? I was watching something that had Khloe Kardashian (ugh, why do I even know this girl?) and she spoke like Paris. I’ve seen the same from Nicole Ritchie, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port from the Hills, and it’s even trickled down to my cousins, who are 24 and 26. I fully blameParis for the tone of voice that makes me cringe.

Stand up girls and lose those losers! Get some new role models. Might I suggest Tina Fey or Beyonce?
Ssy

10:19 AM - 2009-MAR-9

Horoscopaholic

Beyond all better judgement, I’m a horoscoper. I look to the pages of my paper, or an online version if a hardcopy isn’t available, and I pretend not to care, and I pretend to just happen to flip to the life section, quickly skimming the page until my eyes fall upon Leo and my prediction for the day.

What is wrong with me, anyway? I am an educated and intelligent woman. I know I shouldn’t really care what some star-gazing half-quack is saying about my future outlook, but I can’t get enough. And I’ve been especially crazed since all the beginning-of-the-year predictions have been getting a lot of print space.

So I thought it might be fun to see just how truly relevant my daily horoscope is to my daily reality.
By the way, I’m a Leo. Roar.

*************************
January 1, 2009: Right from the get-go of this year, you will wrestle with the implications of a demanding development. Things will progress at breathtaking speed. Prepare for a journey of discovery that sees you hurtling toward prosperity and comfort. Thoroughly apply yourself to a vital project and sheer magic will be manifest.

FYI, this is the horoscope that prompted my new-found addiction. It seemed like such a stunning outlook for me, that I just had to share with everyone. In fact, it was my mom who called me up that morning and read it aloud to me because she also got the same super-feel-good vibe from it as I did.

Accuracy level: High. I started a new job December 8th and due to the holidays and year-end wind up, there was not much that was pressing but there was a promise that we’d be hopping “from the get-go” of January. And because it’s in Sales, “breathtaking” speed seems reliable as does “a journey of discovery” since I’ve never been in Sales before.

January 2, 2009: Being blessed with a feisty personality, you rarely let fate blow you in a direction that you didn't choose. But there is not much sense now in taking some wild and unnecessary risk. Restrain lavish impulses for the moment.

Accuracy level: Low. I don’t see myself as “feisty” and there’s no real “unnecessary risk” out there that I see. We were at the cottage that day. I was tobogganing though – that could be pretty risky.

January 3, 2009: The weight on your shoulders is starting to lighten. There is a natural law that dictates everything must sooner or later change. What goes down must come up. Troughs inevitably rise to peaks. Sadness turns to happiness.

Accuracy level: Low. I was on vacation at the cottage that day tobogganing and snowshoeing and eating. So the prediction is pretty nonsensical. If I had wanted a physics lesson, I would have…hang on, I never want a physics lesson. We actually had to go home that day so weight was added to my shoulders as I had to pack and clean and drive home.

January 4, 2009: Some things come together naturally and effortlessly. Others prove problematic from the outset. The more we try to simplify matters, the more complex they become. Ease the pressure today by doing what relaxes you the most.

Accuracy level: Low. I didn’t have time to relax that day – we had a birthday party at 10 a.m. and then we had to shop, clean and then go to a neighbourhood party at three. We were pretty relaxed about it though. And the wine certainly helped.

January 5, 2009: You are caught in a seemingly hopeless situation. The more you dwell on what's wrong, the more likely you are to end up with what you don't want. Deliverance will come with a gently persistent but intelligently adaptable approach.

Accuracy level: Low. My hopeless situation could have been that the blackberry I was supposed to get at my new job, a month ago, is still not ready for me. And the laptop I was supposed to get got lost in the shuffle of the holidays. So when I get these things, I think I want them but really, what am I asking for? To be reachable at all times and equipped to take work home with me at any given time. I’m not sure about the “intelligently adaptable approach” thing.

January 6, 2009: You are a conscientious, dutiful, diligent, hard-working and loyal Leo who takes obligations and responsibilities very seriously. What you face now is demanding, but you've got more ability, skill and energy than you realize.

Accuracy level: High. Yes! I love hearing I’m conscientious, hard-working and loyal. I love hearing that I have more ability and skill and energy than I realize. I love it! I’m posting this one directly to my resume. I am Leo, hear me freaking ROAR.

January 7, 2009: A new idea will bring you great excitement. You will be eager to pursue it, but hesitant to discuss it openly. Those you do speak to, though, will believe in the strength of your vision.

Accuracy level: Medium. Is it referring to the idea I had to do this? I started it last night at home. I’m also thinking about sending it to my ex-instructor from a freelance course I took last year.

January 8, 2009: You must believe in yourself, but you must also respect those with whom you interact. If you manage to do that, you'll find that success becomes the end result.

Accuracy level: HIGH. Wow. It’s 11:27 am and I just had a bit of a war with a colleague from my old department regarding a project I was using one of his people for. He made the employee back out of the project about three weeks before we’re ready to launch and now I’m stuck. I politely requested that he continue his groups’ involvement to which he all but denied me. So I showed respect by saying fine, I’ll take it myself but what I really wanted to do was tell him off. Then I read this. Let’s see if “success becomes the end result”.

NOTE: 4 p.m. I reacted even more respectfully throughout the day and now I have a new plan of action and no longer have to deal with the guy with whom I interacted. SUCCESS!

January 9, 2009: A series of exciting, albeit unsettling, events may have triggered insecurity but Jupiter will embolden you with confidence and certitude. A wonderful sense of reassurance will inspire your cause.

Accuracy level: HIGH. I DO feel inspired and confident today. Mainly because I fit my weight-losing ass into some fine skinny-ish jeans – a size I don’t ever recall purchasing in my adult years.

I have to post this one from today – It’s from the Globe and Mail and makes me feel fantastic.
If you are one of those Leos who dreams of seeing their name in lights - and which Leo doesn't? - you will very soon get the opportunity to put on a show and dazzle the world with your brilliance. Today though, keep dreaming and keep planning.

January 10, 2009: It is better to push things too far than to not go far enough – you can always retreat. The sky is offering you the chance to go farther today. So take it.

Accuracy level: LOW. Didn’t even leave the house that day. Maybe I blew a great big opportunity?

January 11, 2009: When the time comes for you to take an active role in influencing the future you'll instinctively know it. For now, it's not tomorrow that requires your attention. It's today.

Accuracy level: LOW. Too broad a statement, especially for a Sunday when I’m reading the paper and drinking coffee and procrastinating doing the laundry…hey maybe it’s the future of our laundry that’s at stake?

January 12, 2009: There is a chore that you have been putting off. Perhaps it's an overdue conversation. It may even be a promise that needs to be honoured. You'll feel great the moment it's been addressed.

Accuracy level: HIGH. There was a hole in my son’s room since June when we had ductless a/c installed. My husband and father fixed it. Weight, lifted.

January 13, 2009: At times the world is a delightful place. At other times it forces us to take a terrifying roller-coaster ride. Too much of the latter has been occurring lately, but this long period of concern is coming to an end.

Accuracy level: LOW. No scary roller coaster ride that I know of. I’m busy at work but I like being busy.

January 14, 2009: There is tension and a disagreeable drama is now unfolding. You are concerned that things may spiral out of control in this cavalcade of craziness. Stay focused on the broader picture.

Accuracy level: MEDIUM. It sounds ominous though…I will keep my guard up today. NOTE: nothing happened.

January 15, 2009: In most areas of life, if you want to get better at something, you obtain more information through study and research. It appears that your endeavours in this regard are working. A big idea has merit and a strategy is likely to pay off.

Accuracy level: HIGH. I am trying to get better at my new job and I am researching and learning. I like to hear that everything is working and will pay off.

January 16, 2009: Your future lies ahead where the sky meets the land. But the horizon will always be farther away from you, no matter how fast you run toward it. Finances are likely to receive a little boost.

Accuracy level: WTF? Yes, the horizon is always in the distance. And the point is…? Cool about the financial boost – I will go and buy a lottery ticket for fun. Oh wait, it’s payday. I wonder if Phil Booth (astrologer for The Star) gets paid on the same pay schedule as me and a million others in the city. Yeah, this one is pretty dodgy.

NOTE: I just read the other ‘scopes and financial boosts are no where else to be found. Now I really will buy that ticket.
NOTE: I forgot to buy the lottery ticket. Dammit.

January 17, 2009: Don't even bother trying to set the agenda now. You haven't got the freedom you need and, if you try to fight for it, you'll only upset those to whom you owe something. There's a time and a place for everything and it's coming soon.

Accuracy level: Low. Besides organizing my son’s birthday party, happening in six days, with my family, I have no agenda setting plans.

January 18, 2009: You need to tread gently now. Watch that you don't needlessly upset something or someone. Arguments won't help, intelligence will. So be clever about it.

Accuracy level: Funny, this one. I upset my husband because I made fun of his plastering skills. It was meant to be a joke but it still pissed him off and proved his theory that I am totally unsupportive in all things manly that he does.

January 19, 2009: The future keeps on advancing, as quickly as you try to catch it. But you are now effectively entering a new chapter in your life when you will catch up to what you want. Just be aware that there is more than one future waiting for you out there. Choose wisely.

Accuracy level: Wow. I’m nervous. Does this mean a writing gig for me? Does this mean I’ll finally sit, write something and submit it and have it published? Or is there a whole other future in my new job lurking out there? Can’t wait to find out.

January 20, 2009: If things don't turn out quite as you expect, please don't waste time fretting over what has gone wrong. This setback is apparently a blessing. Something else far better is able to happen instead.

Accuracy level: Low. But I don’t like the sound of it.

January 21, 2009: You are tempted to blame yourself for a perceived failure. Stand back and take another look. It is almost certain you aren't to blame and should let yourself off the hook.

Accuracy level: Low. But again, I don’t want there to be a failure attached to my name. That being said, if it’s my fault, I’ll take the hit. But if it’s not, can I chill and let it be or will I have to be sure that the one to blame takes the hit?

January 22, 2009: I missed this one – I had it saved, then my pc crashed and I lost what I had written and now I can’t find the horoscope on line.

Accuracy level: Low.

January 23, 2009: You will soon have certainty where you once had doubt, strength where you once had weakness, clarity where you once had confusion and support where you once had criticism.

Accuracy level: High. I took the day off to clean the house and prepare for my son’s fourth birthday party with my family. I am certain that we live in a sty, I strongly suggested to my husband that we need a cleaning person if we are to be happy, I was clear on the fact that we are pigs and need help and I now fully support the idea of employing someone who would love to have the work. I despise cleaning.

January 24, 2009: You are not afraid of anything or anyone but, lately, you have been apprehensive about saying what's on your mind because it might cause offence. This is not the time for restraint. Give constructive expression to your feelings.

Accuracy level: Medium. I said what was on my mind alright – I yelled at my mother when she tried to offer advice when my son was acting up at his fourth birthday party. But the next day, I constructively expressed that it was the situation I yelled at, not her.

January 25, 2009: You won't need much luck. Planetary pressures indicate that a certain battle is far from over, but a small break will give you the upper hand.

Accuracy level: Low. No battles except between me and the constant filthiness of my house.

January 26, 2009: You are fishing in the sea of serendipity where every catch could be a prize. Even an old boot could have diamonds on its soles. Positive expectation will pay off.

Accuracy level: Low. I have not been fishing since September and I certainly have not found any diamonds lately but I plan to succeed at everything I do, so that’s positive expectations, right?

January 27, 2009: We all have things in our lives we prefer not to face, realities we prefer to ignore. This lunar month suggests, ironically, that you may be in denial of something you could profit from, if you only accepted it.

Accuracy level: Intrigued. I don’t know what I’m ignoring or denying myself that I could be profiting from! Could it be my writing? Could it be that good? Or is it my musical ability? I did just teach myself Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl on guitar…hmmm. Maybe I should take it on the road?

January 28, 2009: A helpful discussion and some encouraging encounters will take place over the next few days. You are a unique individual facing a situation that cannot be compared to anyone else's. A troublesome scenario will look much better by the weekend.

Accuracy level: Low. I have had some encouraging encounters and helpful discussions but there’s nothing troublesome about any scenario I’m involved in yet.

January 29, 2009: You may not like all that you see, but at least it's a realistic picture. This will save a lot of angst down the line. A level-headed approach will attract winds that will steer your ship to a welcoming port.

Accuracy level: Low. Says nothing to me.

January 30, 2009: If you demonstrate by your actions that you know what you want, fate will reveal a better alternative. By being decisive, it is possible to ensure progress.

Accuracy level: High. I believe this. I need to be clear in my dreams. I will say it again – I want to be published this year. I will see my writing in a publication. There.

January 31, 2009: You can question another's strange behaviour, but it may trigger a hostile reaction. Proceed with caution.

Accuracy level: High. My husband and I had a huge fight because he wanted to get a better recycling system in place. I blew up.

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If you’re reading these words, I can’t believe you read the whole entry. Even I got seriously bored…but then I got interested again but then again, it was about me. Thanks, if you did make it to the end!

Ssy

originally posted: 11:13 AM - 2009-FEB-10