A message to young girls: stop it!

I saw a pretty girl on the subway this morning, 16-ish, with a hot-pink tam hat on her head, shocking purple tights on her legs, and canary yellow studs the size of large gumballs in her earlobes. I wanted to walk to her, grab her arms, shake her lightly while looking into her blue-eye-shadowed eyes, then embrace her like a sister and say, “honey, I did the 80’s and I regret it more than anything – the hair, the accessories, the neon, the neon…oh god the neon…” but I couldn’t say anything because, who am I? Although I am a survivor of the fashion faux-pas-ness that was the 80’s, I have no control over today’s fashions other than to never, ever wear anything like that again. And anyway, the rule is, if you’ve already lived through a trend, stay the hell away from it the next time it comes around, right? There is a God. As for the girl, I guess it’ll give her something to write about in ten years when she looks back at the 10,000 Facebook pictures she posted…

And what is with this over-sized bag trend that is sweeping young girls off their feet, literally. Why do they think they look cool with these gigantic bags lodged into the crook of their elbow forcing the palm of their hand up and outstretched from their body, reminiscent of a vagrant begging for coins? It is so obnoxious. I blame the designers for making these purses with the little tiny handles that these girls hoist into their elbow and I blame Sex and the City for making them look cool and amazing. These girls can’t possibly have enough money to buy these bags or enough stuff to fill them! I didn’t even own a purse until I started working in an office environment ten years ago. And even then it was only to hold my wallet, blistex and face powder, maybe an umbrella if it was threatening rain, and my book. What do these girls carry in their oversized arm-breaker purses? I’m guessing crap. Perhaps a lip gloss (or five), a cell phone and a wallet. The rest is undoubtedly crap.

Maybe I’m being harsh. I know they all want to be the next Carrie Bradshaw of their generation but don’t they realize she’s fictional? And even if they become a version of her, they can never be immortalized in a television show about their Carrie Bradshaw-ness because it’s already been done!

While I’m ranting anyway, I have one more thought I’d like to address. The Parisification of  voices – all high-pitched, baby-ish and non-assertive. I’m sureParis Hilton would argue that it’s purposely being unassertive in a far-reaching attempt to get the upper hand in a male-dominated world. What she doesn’t take into consideration is that strong, assertive women don’t fall for it and think it’s lame. And quite frankly, a setback for those of us who don’t want people thinking we’re baby girls. Why does she talk like that and why do so many young girls copy it? I was watching something that had Khloe Kardashian (ugh, why do I even know this girl?) and she spoke like Paris. I’ve seen the same from Nicole Ritchie, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port from the Hills, and it’s even trickled down to my cousins, who are 24 and 26. I fully blameParis for the tone of voice that makes me cringe.

Stand up girls and lose those losers! Get some new role models. Might I suggest Tina Fey or Beyonce?

Ssy

10:19 AM - 2009-MAR-9