Ok, so what the hell is going on? Is it that time of year? Everyone’s making fresh starts, detoxifying, ridding themselves of baggage…for some, the “baggage” is no longer hiding that they hate ME. I knew it was a possibility…growing up with two sisters giving me daily mantras of “I hate you! You are useless! I wish you were never born” really made me want to be likeable and friendly so it‘s how I made it through life. I simply liked it better when people said “Hello“ to me instead of “You ruined my life“. Enter 2010...suddenly, in the last few days, haters-of-me are no longer in hiding.
Being January, I just wanted to concentrate on my own body’s detox and excess-weight purge. Instead, my gut is taking a beating since learning that people at work (note the plural people) have been bad-mouthing me in front of peers and today I was yelled at, in front of peers again, by someone who I thought was a friend. Yelled at!
I used to live in a blind bliss where nothing really affected me too deeply (unless it was glaringly obvious). But recently, all hell has broken loose and everyone, it seems, has gone mad. At least towards me, anyway. I am no longer the “one who gets along with everyone”. Suddenly, I am abhorred by some, despised by a few and just plain bitchy to everyone else. “Likeable” and “friendly”? Rest in peace.
Life lesson time - not everyone is going to like me. I used to have just one or two people who I knew didn’t like me and it took me a long time to get over it but I always thought that as long as I stayed off of their To Kill list, I’d be ok. In light of new facts, I have thought about this a bit deeper and I was able to list at least six people who, would sneer when they heard my name, might even spit at it if they had the opportunity and would likely kick me in the shin if they could.
My skin is thickening as I type. I’m notching this realization on my belt and will continue to try to not piss people off or be mean for the sake of being mean (or funny). But man, I really miss the ignorant bliss of my youth (read: anytime before last week).
So as I sit and reflect while finishing this box o’ wine from the holiday season (I‘m detoxing my fridge), I remind you to pay attention to who you’re angry at and to decide whether or not it‘s worth your energy and theirs (if they know your feelings). Such toxicity is not productive for the body or the mind. Especially mine.
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